BARRY NEIL KAUFMAN

Exploring, teaching … happiness and well being
for more than 40 years…

MY FOCUS

AUTHOR

OPTION INSTITUTE

AUTISM TREATMENT CENTER OF AMERICA

Family

“Take everything you thought you knew about human behavior
… and give it one giant twist.”

TEACHER … PHILOSOPHER

Core Philosophy

We live in a ‘victim culture’. We’re taught that our environment determines who we are. I act the way I do because of my childhood, my boss, my spouse, the weather. So we try to change our environment,including the people around us. Sometimes we get downright controlling. Or we just feel like passive victims: if only this or that would happen, everything would be just fine.

It doesn’t work that way.

Why? Because the ‘if onlys’ are always beyond our reach. There’s always something else that comes down the road: the loss of a job, conflict with children, catastrophic illness, not to mention the day to day difficulties of life. Here’s the twist. The Option Institute takes the classic stimulus-response model and adds one element: beliefs. What we believe filters every stimulus we encounter. Change your beliefs.

  • Happiness Is A Choice

    Though many of us speak as if our emotions happen to us, we believe that they are responses we choose in an effort to take care of ourselves. Misery, fear, anger, distress, anxiety, and discomfort are optional, not inevitable.

  • You have your own answers

    Oftentimes, we look for our answers from experts – everyone but ourselves.

  • Changing the way you see things changes everything

    Most of us think that events in our lives are inherently good or bad, and we can only hope for more good than bad.

  • We do not teach "the truth"

    We do not teach "the truth." We do not teach "the right way to live."

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18 hours ago

“‘When are you going to act more appropriately?’ ‘Why are you so unkind?’ ‘Why are you so insensitive?’

These are disguised judgments/accusations, directive in nature: act appropriately; be kind; be more sensitive or caring.

Question marks don’t make any of these questions. A ... See more

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1 day ago

“Consider a time when you didn't think highly of yourself, or when you judged yourself for being inadequate, or when you downright condemned yourself for not being smart enough or pretty enough or making enough money. That's when you might have said aloud, ‘I don't love myself...I don't even ... See more

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2 days ago

"We can mobilize our 51 trillion cells to 'get up and dance' on behalf of whatever adventure we are having. Once we decide to jump in, we can do it full-throttle. Passion, like happiness and love, is a choice. We can choose to be passionate about anything and everything. The more you do passion, ... See more

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3 days ago

BACK-UP PLANS

“'I want to become an actor, but I need a back-up plan if I don't succeed.' 'I want to write a novel but first must get a practical college degree just in case.'

What do these examples suggest? 'If I don’t succeed' or 'just in case' reveals doubt as the person goes forward, ... See more

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3 days ago

DO WE HEAR OUR CHILDREN?

“We never took classes in the art of being present or fully attentive. Actually, most parents don’t consider these skills important to teach their children (as compared to brushing their teeth or completing their homework).

In fact, our parents and many of us ... See more

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4 days ago

"I LEARNED HOW TO DREAM RIDICULOUSLY BIG, PERSEVERE, BE FLEXIBLE, AND NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

With tears of joy in my eyes, and more gratitude than I can express, I am announcing that this beautiful, amazing, tough as nails overcomer of a kid is attending the Blue Hill Harbor School (High School, 28 ... See more

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5 days ago

“Unhappiness does not exist in the present moment…Unhappiness exists only as a reflection or regret about the past, or as an anticipation or worry toward the future.”

-"Bears” Barry Neil Kaufman, Co-Founder of the Option Institute®

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6 days ago

THE SON-RISE PROGRAM® ONLINE HAS FAR EXCEEDED ANY OF MY EXPECTATIONS!

“My daughter Piper was diagnosed with autism at almost five-years-old. I came across Raun K. Kaufman’s book “Autism Breakthrough” at the library and first learned about The Son-Rise Program. The Son-Rise Program Online ... See more

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1 week ago

"WE AND THE WORLD are born anew in every second. Therein lies an amazing opportunity for change."

-"Bears" Barry Neil Kaufman, Co-Founder of the Option Institute®

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1 week ago

“INNER MOBILITY: To be willing to let go of who we are for who we could become.

We often think of mobility as the ability to move...like, for us, when our growing family was still in the early years, we might have viewed mobility as our ability to drive our Jeep down the Pacific Coastline (right ... See more

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