BARRY NEIL KAUFMAN

Exploring, teaching … happiness and well being
for more than 40 years…

MY FOCUS

AUTHOR

OPTION INSTITUTE

AUTISM TREATMENT CENTER OF AMERICA

Family

“Take everything you thought you knew about human behavior
… and give it one giant twist.”

TEACHER … PHILOSOPHER

Core Philosophy

We live in a ‘victim culture’. We’re taught that our environment determines who we are. I act the way I do because of my childhood, my boss, my spouse, the weather. So we try to change our environment,including the people around us. Sometimes we get downright controlling. Or we just feel like passive victims: if only this or that would happen, everything would be just fine.

It doesn’t work that way.

Why? Because the ‘if onlys’ are always beyond our reach. There’s always something else that comes down the road: the loss of a job, conflict with children, catastrophic illness, not to mention the day to day difficulties of life. Here’s the twist. The Option Institute takes the classic stimulus-response model and adds one element: beliefs. What we believe filters every stimulus we encounter. Change your beliefs.

  • Happiness Is A Choice

    Though many of us speak as if our emotions happen to us, we believe that they are responses we choose in an effort to take care of ourselves. Misery, fear, anger, distress, anxiety, and discomfort are optional, not inevitable.

  • You have your own answers

    Oftentimes, we look for our answers from experts – everyone but ourselves.

  • Changing the way you see things changes everything

    Most of us think that events in our lives are inherently good or bad, and we can only hope for more good than bad.

  • We do not teach "the truth"

    We do not teach "the truth." We do not teach "the right way to live."

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1 day ago

“We make believe change is difficult so we don't have to change -- so, hey, if we don't want to change, we don't have to judge ourselves and create drama and unhappiness. If we want to stay where we are, we stay where we are.

But, hey, kids -- changing something every day is making life a ... See more

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2 days ago

“We cannot make others unhappy. Only they can do that for themselves. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness.”

-“Bears” Barry Neil Kaufman, Author of “Happiness Is A Choice”

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3 days ago

“Taking care of ourselves! That's not a character flaw, but an aspect of human nature that serves us and those we love…

The question we can ask: Do we acknowledge and take ownership that we are in fact doing what we want (sometimes approving and sometimes disapproving)? And if we did, what ... See more

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4 days ago

"I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THE SON-RISE PROGRAM®. IT HAS CHANGED OUR LIVES IN MORE WAYS THAN I CAN EVER SAY.

My son was diagnosed with moderate to severe Autism at the age of two. We were doing ABA type therapy for almost 15 years. He seemed to be doing as well as could be expected, then at almost ... See more

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5 days ago

"Your history is just a story you tell yourself. You are free to change it whenever you choose.

I am sitting on the train tracks -- Samahria is mugging some cool version of herself. I click, click, click, click. Right now, she is no longer mugging on that train track (decades have gone by). I ... See more

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6 days ago

SON-RISE PROGRAM EYES

“In working with our heroes this week (moms and dads blessed with children with autism) at Autism Treatment Center of America, I introduce the perspective of creating Son-Rise Program® Eyes: not only seeing our children through the eyes of acceptance and inclusion, but ... See more

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1 week ago

It’s never too early to decide that "Happiness is a Choice"!

Photo provided by Son-Rise Program® Mom, Saeng Muangcharoen.

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1 week ago

“Unhappiness is not inevitable. We can un-teach ourselves discomfort and distress…and begin again. The key is to know that our feelings don’t just happen to us. We choose them. And this means that another choice is open to us.”

-“Bears” Barry Neil Kaufman, Co-Founder of the Option ... See more

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1 week ago

While on the Autism Treatment Center of America® campus this week, many parents and professionals registered for The Son-Rise Program® Online to ensure their program starts strong and stays effective, even after they've left the On-Site Start-Up.

See how The Son-Rise Program Online can help you ... See more

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1 week ago

“Every day someone will challenge us, will belittle us, will tell us you can't do it, or you're not equipped, or simply it can't be done -- and every day we can lie down and play dead...or we can reaffirm -- it was never about needing to reach the star in order to be ourselves and do our ... See more

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